Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. YOU GOT THIS! Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. I don't know what to do. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. not the father, mother or child. not truly in love with the gf), then you can break up. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. . Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Why would you do that? I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. No need to waste time your life and time on him. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. They didn't want to break up the family. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. That's what we tackle in today's blog. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? It would feel odd. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. So remember to try to be the best of you. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. It's not that they don't want to. So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. Why not sharing in the upbringing of the child? The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. His family is great also. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. Does he still love me? Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. I didn't want to waste one more day of my life feeling empty and with someone I didn't even like. 4. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. But kids are smarter than you think. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. I would start making a game plan, create a change. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. I thought the same! Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Start off by talking about your family, how you're feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. You have a hard decision to make. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. Good luck. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! They were always fighting, unhappy. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. We made it to 8yrs. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. If you don't, pursuing. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Single. Its been almost 5yrs. To think about the kids. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. And the same with me. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. Now she's pregnant. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. Long story as short as possible! Will you make a better progress by doing so? AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. go and apologise. You should do what will make you happy. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Has it ever gotten better. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. It just reads so snobby and lazy. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? I completely respect her decision on this. She is 6 months pregnant now. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Add to Collection. I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. Don't stay just for the kids. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. He bought it and it is in his name. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. I tried to make myself love him. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? He is a grown up. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. The Preferential Parent. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. In the end its all about the kids. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. FTM. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? To start? 2Face. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. I know that my kids love us both. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. Right? Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. OK LETS TRY TO LOOK AT WHAT IS: IS ANYONE THINKING ABOUT THIS FROM THE CHILD PERSPECTIVE? Be responsible of your act and decision on something. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. Just not with her. You've been clear with him from the start. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? :(. It would not work out for you or for her. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. They hurt the most. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. I don't know if this is pregnancy hormones (I am only 5 weeks) or if I really feel this way. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. She has someone who depends solely on her. Welcome to the world little one! Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Everyone is happier. my point is no one really wins in this situation. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. They were always fighting. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. . 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. And, the combination of all of these factors can really take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). May you both be happy and healthy. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. Add to Collection. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. Good one boys real mature!! You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. That showed up as a third factor." Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. Long story short. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Probably. Eventually though, it caught up to us. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. Being in a lo. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. Privacy Policy. I was in the same boat. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. You need to get in contact with services and leave. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). we should always strife to solve a problem no matter how painful by looking at its essence and its core and not from its form. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. By Simon Maybin. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Tell her at home and in private. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. We've been together 9. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? THE CHILD WILL HAVE MOTHER AND FATHER TOGETHER. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. Learn more about. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? Amazed how women can be on these forums. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. No passion. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? No love. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms Im in the exact same boat man. Time to grow up! The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. 9 min read. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y Good luck! Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. We didn't have to be. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. We literally virtually broke up the night before! Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Married for few months. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not.
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