Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Nobody cares what you had for breakfast, or what your cat did, or what your opinion is on the latest political scandal. You, and I, are not in the big club. (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. Some parents deserve respect. endobj The Wealthy the REAL owners! Everyone's taking pictures of themselves, all the time. 01. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. I'M SERVING THE NATION. Are these fucking people kidding me? Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. Forget the politicians. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. They want obedient workers. Everybody's going to save something now. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> Its what our system produces. Not affiliated with OpenAI. Pfft! <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> You have no choice! But it's all a facade. They want your retirement money. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Difference. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Two is all you need, folks. 185 0 obj Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? George has been quoted as calling this his favourite HBO special of them all due to its continuous flow-on nature and high standard of writing. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. 0000053233 00000 n
Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? Off-course no politician would admit to such a lowly station as working in Government. All across this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the greatest nation in the history of the World and in times of military crisis you can be sure that someone in a suit in this town will eventually plant himself in front of a camera and carry on a great deal about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth. You know, that thing that's supposed to make us more connected and informed, but really just turns us into a bunch of self-obsessed, attention-seeking, validation-craving zombies. % George Carlin: How you doing? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. On Election Day, I stay home. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. So let me tell you something. "Forget the politicians. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? https://ad.style/. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Dog, Cat, Thinking. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. 0000003180 00000 n
Its a big club, and you aint in it! Theyll get it. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? First of all, its meaningless. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . I dont vote. In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. Read it first. They don't get any real human contact. startxref But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. BRAND: That's comedian George. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! m o n t c l a i r . I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. Everybody complains about politicians. %%EOF I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. This is not good work. Quick Guide. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Because at the end of the day, social media is just a bunch of zeros and ones floating around in cyberspace. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. No contest. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? Fuck hope!. No one has PROBLEMS anymore. But wheres the logic in that? If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. endstream Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. We dont have people like that in this country. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Yeah, right. And the more noise there is, the harder it is to hear anything worth listening to. Their own habitat. His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . 0000008961 00000 n
People like to twist that around, I know. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." (LAUGHS). There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. Difference. The planet is fine. Press J to jump to the feed. Everybody says they suck. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. Every time. They OWN YOU. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! CHALLENGES! %PDF-1.3 This is what we have to offer. Well, we know what they want. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. I have a problem with the Ten Commandments. It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Then, as the controversy continues to heat up, he moves to his next level of complaint: POLITICIAN:THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. Complete biography of George Carlin . Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. hb```b``na`
cc`ahd`phQD"#. -{- f1^u0`cp@&CUoM;v> This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Funny, Humor, Beer. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. You voted them in. What a great idea. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. Subreddit to discuss about ChatGPT. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. Maybe two hundred thousand? But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. "In America, anyone can become president. Garbage ingarbage out. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' I do not own this video. Then you're just what they're looking for. They dont fall out of the sky. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). 0000001412 00000 n
Everybody complains about politicians. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] MISTAKES WERE MADE, DON'T LOOK AT ME, PROBABLY SOMEONE IN MY OFFICE. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. 194 0 obj And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Its almost a poetic rap. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. FUCK THEM. Nothing wrong with the planet. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. This shit they shuffle around every four years? They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> It has to be the WHOLE THING. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. You have no right to complain. I dont vote. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. You know, say, boy, he really . That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. <<76B7883B53B3B2110A00D082ECFCFC7F>]/Prev 777933>> They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. Not on some social media platform where everyone's shouting into the void.". Unless we think of some way to fight back. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Theyll get it. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> 0000006309 00000 n
Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. We're not rats', Rectorial address, Glasgow University - 1972, For Geoffrey Tozer: 'I have to say we all let him down', by Paul Keating - 2009, for James Baldwin: 'Jimmy. People like to twist that around. Required fields are marked *. They should be based on the parents' performance. They don't fall out of the sky. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. George Carlin. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! They're your 'likes'. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. The table is tilted folks. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. George Carlin: I'm in Hollywood, Los Angeles. Just a thought.". When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. xref Maybe something else sucks around here. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. <>stream
From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! And you don't want to spend your real life chasing after digital validation.". We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. I don't words that conceal reality. 193 0 obj And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! Now, folks, a question for you. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Another favorite distortion is Public Service. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Nobody cares. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. You know what they're interested in? They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Yeah the public sucks. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. 0000015151 00000 n
Sure, here's a sample transcript of George Carlin talking about social media in one of his stand-up routines: "Let's talk about social media for a minute. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. 160 Copy quote. %PDF-1.7
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Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. As I say, they're my work, they're my . Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. Then share it far and wide with the little green button. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. And don't even get me started on Twitter. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. endobj They own everything. And don't get me started on the selfies. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. You enjoy yourselves. Let's get started! But here's the thing, folks. Such a nice touch. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! The planet has been here four and a half billion years. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. You know what they want? Carlin is usually spot on. 0000002011 00000 n
Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. Look, I'm not against technology or communication. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Not in the abstract they don't. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. 0000002288 00000 n
THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. They own everything. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra.
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